Wednesday, May 12, 2010

How to Not Hold A Grudge

  1. step 1

    Try dwelling more on the positive aspects of people, even the ones who have angered you. When people do things that inflame your anger, it can be very difficult to view such people in a positive light. And you don't have to do so right away. But after some time passes, you may want to reconsider.

  2. Step 2

    When making an effort not to hold a grudge, think about all the negative physical effects that holding on to anger (and other negative feelings) can do to a person. Anger causes stress, which in turn can cause ulcers, headaches, elevated blood pressure, and in the long term, even heart trouble.

  3. Step 3

    Chances are the person against whom you are holding the grudge is probably not giving you and your thoughts and feelings a second thought, so why devote any more of your emotional energy to them, if they are (most likely) not devoting much emotional energy at all to thinking about you?

  4. Step 4

    Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Of course, this can be extremely challenging, but it can also help you to understand where they are coming from and why they behave the way they do. For instance, if the person who angered you is experiencing difficulties of any kind, it helps to remember that people's circumstances and personal struggles can affect their behavior, often in negative ways. This does not excuse their bad behavior, but it can help you understand it. And the more you understand someone and what drives them to do the things they do the easier it is not to hold a grudge against them for too long.


Things You'll Need:

  • A desire to control your anger and learn how to not hold a grudge against someone who has angered you.

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