How to trust your partner

The best parts of being in a relationship are the moments of shared intimacy and trust. You have chosen someone to open up top, someone that you feel you can trust with your heart and soul. That is why it is so devastating to find out that he has been cheating on you. The aftermath of this revelation is hard on both of you - it is tough on you because your trust has been betrayed, and it is tough on him because he knows how angry and hurt you are.

It would not be easy - rebuilding trust never is - but if you remember a few important things, you can make your relationship stronger than it was before:

1. Rebuilding trust is something you have to do together.
This is going to be tough, because you are both very unhappy - essentially, you are working on a relationship with someone you do not trust. You may need to take a "cooling off" period, after which you agree to rebuild trust. But it will take both of you. If either of you is not serious about doing the work necessary to repair your relationship, you are sunk. Take some time to get clear, ask yourself if you want to work on this relationship, and whether you can deal with the problem of having had to live in the past. If you can forgive, and understand that most of our miseries come from living in the past, you have a higher chance of rebuilding trust in this relationship.

2. Acknowledge your emotions.
You are both going to be feeling hurt, angry and sad after you find out about his cheating. Both of you have to deal with your feelings in a mature, communicative fashion. You will want him to understand your point of view and the pain you are feeling - but you are going to also have to listen to him and try to understand how he feels, too.

Take care to make each other feel understood rather than dwelling on accusations and apologies. Try to see the situation from his perspective, and acknowledge his feelings verbally (statements like, "I know you are confused and angry right now") and own up to anything that you have done wrong, too.

3. Make the right kind of apologies.
"I'm sorry" is not a free pass, nor is it a reset button that puts everything back the way it was before. In fact, your guy probably blurted out "I'm sorry" as soon as he got caught, in the hopes that it would magically make the whole problem disappear. A genuine apology is not a token designed to appease your partner - real apologies, from the heart, only work after they have been given some thought. They also do not come with excuses attached - "I'm sorry, but ..." negates the apology entirely. Apologizing should not be seen as another opportunity to say you were right! If he offers you an "I'm sorry, but .." apology, tell him that you would prefer an apology that do not have a "but" attached.

4. Both of you need to make promises for the future.
These may be as simple as "I won't cheat anymore" or as complicated as "I promise to let you know where I am when I'm not at work." These cannot be demands - they must be mutually agreed upon things that can reasonably been accomplished, related to the problem of his cheating. And you need to be very clear that both of you understand what these promises entail.

5. The promises you make while rebuilding trust must be kept.
After all, lack of trust is the problem here. Promises made must be kept when trying to rebuild trust. If one of you breaks a promise during this period, the resulting anger and disappointment will make matters even worse. It can even do more damage than the cheating did, because it shows that even when you know that your relationship hangs in the balance, you cannot be trusted to keep your word.

5. Keep the lines of communication open.
It will take more than a few apologies and promises to rebuild trust. You will need to talk about your fears, appreciate each other's good qualities, continue to talk about the promises you have made to each other, and continue to strengthen the bond that solidifies your relationship.

Rebuilding trust after your partner cheats is a lot of work. But if both of you are fully committed to the process, you may find that your love can grow even stronger with better communication and respect.

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Trust ur relationship

Why is there a cold-hearted person in me?

Why suddenly I easily get pisstttttttt off when there's someone annoys me? Well normally, I'll get piss off but it will take a while. Arghhhhhhh!!!!!! stop it!!

I don't want the evil heart takes control over my mind and my soul. Please Ya Robb, lend me Your courage and patient. I want to feel that again within me. As far as I concern, I don't want to hurt any feelings just because of uncontrolable emotions(the bad one, of course).
Give me sanity for it helps me to be wise.

Puasa Di Bulan Ramadhan menurut baginda s.a.w

Sebelum menjalankan ibadat Ramadan, ada beberapa perkara yang perlu difahami, di antaranya ialah puasa Ramadan adalah rukun Islam yang keempat.

Hukumnya adalah fardu (wajib) yang langsung dari perintah Allah SWT, sebagaimana firman-Nya yang bermaksud: Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, diwajibkan atas kamu sekalian berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu, semoga kamu menjadi orang-orang yang bertakwa. (al-Baqarah: 183).

Dalam hadis dijelaskan, sabda Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud: Sesungguhnya Islam itu dibangun di atas lima (dasar). Kesaksian bahawa tidak ada Tuhan yang berhak disembah selain Allah dan Muhammad itu adalah utusan-Nya, menegakkan solat, menunaikan zakat, melaksanakan puasa Ramadan dan menunaikan haji. (riwayat Muslim).

Dari ayat dan hadis di atas berpuasa Ramadan hukumnya wajib atas setiap Muslim dan Muslimat yang sihat akalnya, dan telah mukalaf, tidak dalam keadaan musafir dan sakit. Khususnya bagi wanita, tidak dalam keadaan haid dan nifas.

Allah SWT mensyariatkan berpuasa dan pelbagai ibadat Ramadan sebagai salah satu program yang harus dilalui setiap muslim dan mukmin dalam pembentukan karakter takwa mereka.

Sebaliknya ancaman keras bagi orang-orang beriman yang tidak melaksanakan ibadat puasa Ramadan.

Ia sebagaimana yang disabdakan Rasulullah SAW yang bermaksud: Ikatan dan penegak agama Islam itu ada tiga. Siapa yang meninggalkan salah satu darinya, maka ia telah kafir, halal darahnya iaitu: syahadat, solat fardu, puasa Ramadan. (riwayat Abu Ya'la dan Dailami). Yang dimaksudkan kafir ialah hukumnya seperti murtad.

Dalam hadis lain Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud: Siapa yang berbuka satu hari dalam bulan Ramadan tanpa ada rukhsah (faktor yang membolehkan berbuka) dari Allah, maka tidak akan tergantikan walaupun ia melaksanakan puasa sepanjang masa. (riwayat Abu Daud, Ibnu Majah dan Tirmizi).

Jenis-jenis puasa itu terbahagi dua, pertama puasa fardu (wajib), dan kedua puasa tathowwu' (puasa sunat).

Adapun puasa wajib terbahagi tiga, pertama puasa Ramadan, iaitu puasa yang dilaksanakan selama bulan Ramadan seperti dijelaskan dalam surah al-Baqarah: 183.

Kedua, puasa kaffarat (puasa denda), iaitu puasa yang wajib dilakukan sebagai denda dari pelanggaran hukum seperti pelanggaran dalam ibadat haji, membunuh tidak sengaja, melanggar sumpah dan sebagainya.

Ketiga, adalah puasa nazar, iaitu jika seseorang bernazar dengan berpuasa bagi perkara yang dinazarkannya seperti jika ia sembuh dari penyakit dan sebagainya maka ia bernazar untuk berpuasa. Puasa seperti ini disebut dengan puasa nazar dan wajib hukumnya.

Puasa tathowwu' (puasa sunat), adalah puasa enam hari di bulan Syawal. Dalam hadis Rasulullah SAW dijelaskan: Siapa yang berpuasa Ramadan, kemudian dia teruskan dengan enam hari di bulan Syawal, seakan dia berpuasa sepanjang masa (tahun). (riwayat al-Jamaah kecuali Bukhari, Nasa'i)

Lebih detail puasa --->(klik)

Isu Tarian Pendet selesai – TPM

Isu Tarian Pendet selesai – TPM

PUTRAJAYA 3 Sept. – Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin berkata, klip video 30 saat yang sebahagian kecilnya memaparkan Tarian Pendet diterbitkan oleh Discovery Networks Asia-Pacific dan tidak ada kena mengenai dengan pihak berkuasa di Malaysia.

Kata Timbalan Perdana Menteri, penerbit itu juga telah menjelaskan keadaan sebenar dan memohon maaf kepada kerajaan Indonesia berhubung perkara tersebut.

Beliau berkata, penerbit dokumentari berkenaan telah menjelaskan situasi sebenar melalui sepucuk surat kepada Menteri Kebudayaan dan Pelancongan Indonesia, Jero Wacik.

Sehubungan itu, beliau berharap isu Tarian Pendet dari Bali yang didakwa dicuri oleh Malaysia selesai.

“Penerbit klip itu telah menulis memohon maaf dan menjelaskan situasi sebenar bahawa filem tersebut bukan datang daripada pihak berkuasa Malaysia tapi dilakukan oleh mereka.

“Saya harap episod ini terhenti di situ dan segala penjelasan diterima oleh pihak Indonesia,” katanya.

Beliau berkata demikian pada sidang akhbar selepas mempengerusikan mesyuarat jawatankuasa Kabinet mengenai pelancongan di sini hari ini.

Penayangan klip komersial yang mengandungi elemen Tarian Pendet bagi mempromosi siri dokumentari Enigmatic Malaysia di Discovery Channel telah menimbulkan kemarahan Kerajaan Indonesia baru-baru ini.

Situasi menjadi bertambah buruk apabila pihak media massa tempatan membuat tuduhan melulu menyatakan Malaysia sengaja mencuri kebudayaan Indonesia untuk melariskan pelancongan sendiri.

Ekoran kontroversi tersebut, berlaku demonstrasi bantahan di Kedutaan Besar Malaysia di Jakarta selain panggilan bom palsu dan bendera Jalur Gemilang dibakar.

Menurut Muhyiddin, sepatutnya perkara itu tidak berbangkit memandangkan iklan yang disiarkan bukan dihasilkan oleh mana-mana pihak di Malaysia.

Sementara itu, Menteri Pelancongan, Datuk Seri Dr. Ng Yen Yen memberitahu, beliau ada menerima salinan surat berkenaan daripada Discovery Networks Asia-Pacific.

Katanya, surat berkenaan dihantar kepada Kerajaan Indonesia sebaik sahaja kontroversi Tarian Pendet timbul.

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2009&dt=0904&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Dalam_Negeri&pg=dn_04.htm