aLL of uS r B.i.T.c.H.e.S~~ I am not saying U r...

Rules number one;
- We seldom look around us, and sometimes with no thoughts of anything(blank) and we don't even realize that the eyes of ours of this God given had landed on certain person. Of course we will feel like we're just looking and its blank, but haven't said that the others that being stared, they are not feeling the same way as we did. Trust me, they will feel uncomfortable, feel like they are trapped under some sort of psychotic reverse psychology psycho or it could be "what's up with the look?".

WELL PEOPLE, THAT'S WHAT MAKE WE ARE A B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number two;
-At a time we don't want to care about others and live free, others will start to care about you. Believe me, they will take note for anything and everything you are doing, saying, and even when you are eating or drinking. Plus, they suddenly start to care when you walk down street all alone even though you always did that. Suddenly, you 'll feel like the world revolves around you, and those eyes facing towards you, looking down or up with some grunting and chuckles. Seriously, we'll have this thoughts of "what's up with them?" or shall I put in a harsh sentence for the rough idea,"what do you want B****??"..... Nevertheless, we're the one whose being stared,not them which in turn make us the B..

ALL OF US ARE B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number three;
-Also happens when you have issues that you can't tell or it is kind of stressful, you chose to be alone for a while and again with all the stares that you can not uphold,you'll get depressed. It leads to another, you rebel, start doing the stupidest thing on earth and yet people keep talking. Then again,

THAT MAKES BOTH B****.

Rules number four;
-We are human being right? But doesn't mean we are the same. Each of us have different history and normal basic life that we involve in and used to. For loners like me and a few others, we don't talk much, but doesn't mean we hate people or we hate socializing. It is just because we are not too into it like other normal girlish girl who loves gossiping, shopping, sleepover and etc. Yeah, it is a problem for us, the loners, when it gets into community. We are unable to adapt to other girls social network that easy. Please, blame us because honestly we don't know.
Let us draw some analogy here, a loner walking nearby a group of girlish girl. Awkward moment will arise, and rules number one is apply.

ALL OF US ARE B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number five;
-what makes you think you are perfect? Is it your social network? Is it your well dress stylish and stylist? Is it the way you take control of people thoughts and emotions? Is it the way you think and knowledge beyond others? or is it the way you speak? or is it because others are scared of you?
If you ask me, you are what you are. No one can change you unless you chose to be change. So be it, be yourself and that is what differentiate us all.

THAT IS WHY WE ARE B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number six;
- when we ignoring others and the world, people said we are arrogant and heartless. That was their judgement. For us, we already give up with the life of fakes and even we could turn the clock, still we don't know what to change. That makes everything sucks. Back to their judgement;

ALL OF US ARE B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number seven;
- Drama.. Drama.. Drama... We played a great scene in a stage called real life, but having said that we are not happy with it but that is the way that has to be and we keep drowning, or may be the word drowning is not suitable to be use. Let's change it to lost, or keep track, or just go with the flow may be. Humans play several and variety of characters and pose, just to impress others whereas neglecting their own satisfaction. All of us are involved, none escape. Trust me, we have been there, it is just the matter of time where we woke up from the hypnosis, either early or late, or neither nor. YOU go girl!!! DRAMA QUEEN!!!

WELL AGAIN PEOPLE, THAT'S WHAT MAKE WE ARE A B.I.T.C.H.

Rules number eight;
- We as normal human are stuck in certain degree of ego, depends on how you classify and clarify it. Doesn't matter. That ego are one of the ingredients of determining who we are now in past, present and future. Due to that degree of ego, rules number one to seven is apply.

BITCHES, WE ARE THE BITCH.

x0x0~~~~ ;P

My Sin

I don`t know what should I say to you..

Sound from my head always buzz me up..

I`ve made a damn sucks mistake before..

I regret that it happen..

Your heart breaks because of me..

And I didn`t say anything..

Just ignore till don`t even realize that you are suffering..

Suffer because of love..

The purest of pain deep inside you..

I`m no one when you`re not around..

Lost of words,lost everything..

Useless..priceless,,yes,that is how I feel..

When you wasn`t there..i just realize..

I lost you,my confidence,everything..

Sorry for the deep wound in your heart..

Now you`ve back..

Don`t know what should i do..

Could someone please tell me!!

Do i love you? i don`t know..

How far? i d0n`t know..

You`re here as a Friend..

Can i accept it? i don`t know..

Because you used to love me once..

You fall, just fall and what did i do?

I`ve done nothing..

Shame on me..

Can you fall again? no one knows..

Only you who has the answer..

Tell me when you fall again..

Because I wanted to do you a favour..

Anything that pleasure you..

And I`m here waiting just to fall..

Because I don`t want to find love anymore..

Or I will make a mistake again..

My Adopted Life

My name is Kate. I am still green and the only child of my family. My dad is jobless and he rather sits at home and being a couch potato. He is a hanky-panky person. He never likes me going to school. These provokes me. Sometimes I being scolded and yelled either I am irreproachable or not. Mom does not even bother and this makes me feel doubtful about her. Am I her daughter? Until now I do not know what her job is. What is she doing? I asked her “Am I adopted?” She said that I am not supposed to be in this world. I was born not according to the plan. In a simple word, I am busted. Before I exist, mum has gone for an abortion to throw me out of her life but it was too late. In these circumstances, mum has to marry dad.

On one perfect morning, I walked along the street just like I had always done before. I can see people from all walks of life. Then I decided to go to Chris’ apartment. She is thirty-four years old. I know it sounded silly but she was my bosom friend. Chris is the one who has been encouraging my study. “Hey, Kate! Check this out. It’s for you.” Chris showed me an encyclopedia. At that time, I was over the moon. I am always coveted to own one of those books. I already have a storybook and a dictionary in my collection. All of them are given by Chris. She said that she got it from the bin.

At night while I am reading, I heard the sound of the door being open. By that time I have heard someone was laughing followed by mum’s drunken voice. I look through a narrow opening from my room. Then I saw mum with a guy and they seem so intimate. And my eyeball swiftly captured dad who was sleeping on the sofa. On the next morning, I have prepared myself for school to sit for an exam. I passed mum’s room and I felt express doubts about the truth. When I opened the door, I was petrified. I cannot believe my eyes. How could she do this to me? She had betrayed dad and foremost she had betrayed me as her daughter. I quickly ran out. I sobbed my heart out. Why? What for? I have never asked? It is no use crying over spilt milk. I have tried to wipe my sob and relax my mind for my exam. At first, the teacher would not let me do the exam because I have never been to school unless there is an exam.

Despite that, I try to convince the teacher to let me sit for the exam. And I have obtained the consent from the teacher. It was just like a miracle, I have obtained an ‘A’ for the exam and was the highest. But this time, I also won a scholarship to Harvard. Believe me, at that time I did not even know what kind of university Harvard is. Right after school I have went to meet Chris to relate the good news. But this time Chris was not as usual. Her smile revealed all the pain she was suffering right now. She is paralyzed and was suffering from cancer. I looked into her deep eyes. I can feel the agony. I embrace her and burst into tears. She has told me that she wanted me to be graduated and been for a rosy future.

Last but not least, with my best brains, I am now in Harvard. Day by day, I am willing to improve by leaps and bounds but Chris is getting worst. These distract my studies. I tried to concentrate and I realize that Rome was not built in a day. I must try my best to get the best. God helps those who help themselves.

As a result, I will be graduating today. Mum and dad were not here and I do not expect them to be here. I have lost faith in them and my hatred grew more. But where is Chris? I have already told her about today’s event. In these circumstances, I felt uncomfortable with her absence.

After my convocation, I rushed to Chris’ apartment but she was not there. George whom is her neighbour says that Chris has been sent to the hospital that morning. I was taken aback. I quickly rushed to the hospital.Then, I saw Chris is lying on the bed and surrounded by white serenity. I can feel the warm tears in my eyes felt slowly. I went close and held her hand. I have told her that I got a job in and had been given a green card. I wanted her to stay with me there. She is smiling with pain inside. Not for long, I can feel the cold hand of her and her life ended on the day. My tears swiftly decrease. This life is adopted for me and now I am homeless.

I Just Think

Some times I just think,

If only I wasn’t here,

I might choose to other side,

If I do think about people, why can’t I think about myself?

I don’t have any self pity for my self,

I regret…

If I get all what I want,

I might not be satisfied,

Cause there’s nothing left for me to chase,

Sometimes I hate for being so perfect,

Being perfect makes everyone hates me,

I hate to be myself

Which make me loose some confidence,

Sometimes I can’t forget about the past,

Makes me not in the mood,

I can’t take the way it is…

I hate to have a friend,

Because one day I realize I might loose them,

And there’s nothing left for me…

Sakura

thought things will change..

I was wrong..

I thought I could forget..

I was wrong..

I wish I am a computer so that I couldd reprograme da data..

Install a new data and memories..

But it’s still remains here in my soul..

Somewhere in my mind..

Wishing that i will never exist..

but i’m still here..

Still da same person..

Never change just like sakura..

Although the weather is change..

Sakura will be sakura..

So am I..

Just like sakura..

Senita Suara

Suria terbit di awanan
Berkicau burung hambur kegembiraan
Mencari sinar harapan bakal ku kecapi
Dunia ini sedang ku miliki

c/o:
Mencari keindahan
Mencari ketenangan
Mencari keagungan
Yang Maha Berkuasa

Mencari keikhlasan
Tersimpan di hati insan
Yang masih ku nantikan
Terkubur selamanya


OOh mengapa ini yang harus ku terima
Hanya terdaya berserah pada-Nya
Tak ku jangkakan hidup di dunia ini
Aku insan yang hina menagih simpati
Bersua kembali cinta, kasih yang sejati

C/O

chess

A game called chess. I think most of us know how to play with it. Chess is a recreational and competitive game played between two players. Sometimes called Western chess or international chess to distinguish it from its predecessors and other chess variant. The game is played on a square chequered chessboard with 64 squares arranged in an eight-by-eight square. At the start, each player (one controlling the white pieces, the other controlling the black pieces) controls sixteen pieces: one king, one queen, two rooks, two knights, two bishops, and eight pawns. The object of the game is to checkmate the opponent's king, whereby the king is under immediate attack (in "check") and there is no way to remove it from attack on the next move.

Therefore, there is plenty of ways to avoid checkmate. Some player have to sacrifice their own army. On my own experience, my bishop is stucked could not move and the option is dead. Well I bet some of us will try to safe the bishop without realising that it is useless. That is how life is going on actually. We do not realise that we have met to an end sometimes. But still we're trying to keep it work and keep on giving the false hope until to the fullstop. what I've learn from chess, is that no matter how important the thing is, if it is unworth to fight for, just do not go for it. It is because in the end it will give us disappointment. We only have to go forward and do not look backwards anymore for the tragic to haunted the future. Things happen for reasons. No one could escape from it. It just happen and we only have to prepare for it. The circle of life.